50. We organize our lives around our fears. To avoid fears is to avoid growth.
51. What you run away from runs towards you. Fears you do not climb become walls around you.
52. We limit ourselves by our fears. On the other side of every fear - door is a precious gift. One’s highest potential. To be human is to have fears.
53. The top fears of people are :
- Fear of failure.
- Fear of success. This fear comes from our childhood. What would people think if we became too successful ? Fears are one’s shadows. Fears need to be brought from one’s sub-conscious to one’s consciousness.
- Fear of rejection.
- Most people do not feel good enough. Deep down they feel they are frauds. Most people who are arrogant are insecure. Truly humble people have worked through their insecurities.
- Fear of not having enough. Happiness is an act of will. It comes from one’s inner life and not from the satisfaction of the senses. Happiness is an inside job.
- Fear of loss. Of losing control. Of not being in control. Of being insignificant. Of not having made a difference. Of death.
54. Stay hungry. Nothing fails like success. You are most vulnerable when you are most successful. You fall in love with yourself. It’s easy to become complacent.
55. Culture shapes behaviour. Create a culture of leadership. Robin’s company has the following practise : Always respond with “It shall be done”.
56. The ways of building culture are :
- Culture is built like conversation. Talk about culture all the time. Need to have conversations about it. What do we stand for - our values etc. More people will gradually understand and buy into it.
- You get what you celebrate. If someone is entrepreneurial and gets rewarded and becomes a hero then everyone knows what behaviour is expected. Leadership is what you do in the dark. An airhostess was asked by a customer in flight to get some iced tea. There was no iced tea on board the aircraft. But the airhostess calmly said that she would get a teabag and melt some ice cubes and get a slice of lime and prepare iced tea in a few minutes. The boss of the airline who was on the aircraft saw this interaction. The airhostess did not know the boss. Nor did she know he had seen her do this. At the next opportunity of a meeting, the boss narrated the incident and rewarded her. She became known as the ‘iced tea woman’. Behaviour rewarded is behaviour repeated.
- Rituals also help in creating a culture. Systems and processes which are religiously followed. Like the meeting every morning for 15 minutes where people talk about the values of the organization and reflect on them.
- Build culture through Training and Development. Usually companies cut the training budget when they are not doing well. The signal being given is that we are not interested in you growing. The best companies inculcate values through training.
57. Always go the extra mile. They have a ‘shall be done’ attitude. They do the same things but expect different results.
58. The world class audit. This is an audit which one conducts on one’s own life. It envisages 7 forms of success which are essential for any person viz. I-Inner Life, H-Health, F-Family, C-Career, E-Economical, C-Community, A-Adventure, I-Impact. When conducting the audit on oneself one needs to do the following : Assess one’s current status on each of these areas/parameters on a scale of 0-10. Then state the reason why you have given yourself this score for each of the areas/parameters. To increase your score in each of the areas/parameters you will now state 3 action steps for each area/parameter which you will practise over the next 90 days. For instance where Inner Life is concerned an action step could be “Meditate every morning for 20 minutes for 5 days in a week”. Things that can’t be measured cannot be improved.
59. Most people spend so much time planning for their summer holiday but hardly any time planning their lives. Each day is a platform for choices to be made. One needs to be focused on one’s priorities. A person who chases 2 rabbits catches none.
60. Make the time to think. Leaders are more thoughtful and reflective.
61. You become what you talk about. When you verbalize your thoughts and feelings and concerns it brings about clarity.
62. Some action step suggestions for each of the 7 life areas could be the following :
- Inner Life - Meditation, Silence, Reading great authors. Reading great authors is like having conversations with extraordinary minds. They pull you into considering new possibilities.
- Health - Exercise, Diet, Massage.
- Family – Have a meal together, Become developers of one’s children, Show them what is the best in Art, Philosophy, etc.
- Career – Set standards which are world class, plan one’s day in the morning for 15 minutes. Things that get scheduled get done. Get a mentor.
- Economic – Get a Financial Plan done. Work with a financial Advisor.
- Community – Build a support group. Build a system to help advance one’s life.
- Adventure – Every 7 days inject one new fun thing to do.
- Impact - Being kind to a stranger every week.
63. Tactics to show leadership.
- Set a personal philosophy and precise goals. What do you want your life to stand for ? Nobody wants to experience the feeling that one has got to the end of one’s life and feels that one has betrayed oneself. We are continuously experiencing an Integrity gap. The Integrity gap refers to the following principle : The greater the gap between who you truly are inside and how you present yourself to the world, the less fulfillment you will experience. Life wants you to win. Therefore one needs to work towards congruence. Leadership is based on the laws of life. We experience pain when we are not in alignment with the laws of life. For instance ‘the hand that gives is the hand that gathers’ is a law of life. If one doesn’t follow the laws of life then one will not be able to experience sustained happiness. If one doesn’t like oneself what is the use of the Ferrari one possesses. What does one want said about oneself after one dies ?
- Do the difficult, first thing in the morning. Build self-discipline and self-control. Robin Sharma gets up at 4am every morning. Do what you don’t like doing. Finish what you started.
- Continuously improve at least 1 % each day.
- Make time to think. Make time to get lost. Robin Sharma gets his best ideas when skiing. Ideas are ingredients of success.
- Build human connections. Business is about people and relationships. A Corporation is just a stamp on some legal document but its value lies in its people. They are the intellectual capital of the Corporation We need to grow their abilities.
- The formula for excellent relationships is “Real Apples Need Excellent Fertilizer”. The ‘R’ stands for Relationships. Relationships are most important. Business is about human beings. Everybody is good. A child has an uncanny way of getting into a person and connecting. Why do we treat animals better than human beings ? Dogs give unconditional love. Dogs see the best in you. Dogs are patient with you. Everyone wants to feel special. The ‘A’ stands for being Authentic. The importance of being human and removing the mask. When you are vulnerable people fall in love with you. The ‘N’ stands for Nice. Become the kindest person you know. Being kind is not a weakness. It’s the greatest strength. It gives rise to the Echo Effect. Whatever you give to the world comes back to you. Anyone can go to work and pretend that one is strong. It is difficult to be humble. Model the behaviour you want to see in others. Put people first. The ‘E’ stands for being Ethical. Manage your brand. Lead by example. Nothing more important than one’s good name. The ‘F’ stands for Fun. Laughter elevates energy and is contagious. It increases the passion in one’s work because work becomes fun. It helps to build a healthy work culture and helps in collaboration. Relationships are most important. We need to align the audio with the video.
- The main regrets which people have at the end of their lives are :
- They have not done enough of reflection.
- They have not taken enough risks.
- The deeds they didn’t do and the love they didn’t give.
- Questions unlock the unknowing. How old would you be if you knew how old you are ? Select a partner and sitting in front of your partner seeing eye-to-eye keep on asking the following question viz. What do you need to improve in your life? Answers have to be given in one – liners viz. I need to improve……The question keeps on being asked and the answers keep on being given without any repetition of answers. This exercise can be done as long as one wants. When one finds it difficult to find an answer then that is possibly a hint that a precious gift is lying behind the door. One needs to push ahead. After one has finished then the process is reversed viz. your partner asks the question and you answer. The other question which one may attempt in a similar manner is : ‘What do you want to hear said about you at your funeral?’
- Best practices for personal leadership :
# Be devoted to continuous learning. Have to continuously work on one’s insecurities and fears. If I try I might, if I don’t then I won’t. Don’t know which book will influence you. Use one’s commute time to read. Let one’s car become a college on wheels. What you surround yourself with is what you will become.
# Get up early and have a Holy Hour. The initial effort to leave the old thoughts and habits is hard because of gravity. If one is trying something new then one needs to stay with it for at least 30 days continuously. We all have the ability to adapt. We also need to take 60 minutes for ourselves. During this time we could think, do the treadmill etc. Through this we get a psychological start over everybody else. Most people do not get up early. The way we go through the Holy Hour will infuse our entire day.
# Leaders do what’s right not what’s easy. ‘If everybody was satisfied with themselves there would be no heroes.’ Mark Twain.
# Make your health your number 1 priority. You don’t want to be the richest person in the graveyard. Health is taken for granted till you lose it. Very few express gratitude for one’s health. Those who do not make time for exercise will make time for illness.
# Balance work with one’s family. If one’s family life is strong then one is more successful at work. One needs to work on one’s family while one is growing in one’s career. What’s the point of being on top of the mountain but alone in a graveyard ?
# Leave your leadership footprint. Nurture your legacy daily. Find a cause greater than you. When you were born people were happy. When you die you will be happy while people are sad. Most of us struggle for legitimacy. For looking good. This needs to shift to wanting to leave a legacy. We should not reach the end of our lives knowing in our hearts what we could have been but never were.